It began to get hotter and hotter again. It is really
weird weather. It seems that it is becoming warmer and warmer all over China.
Even Chap Weng in Dalian told me that it was warmer in these two
Zhiqiang Chow would leave GWF soon. Some colleagues and
I planned to treat him a dinner. It is a pity that Amber got ill today. He was
unable to join us. For he has to stay in Beicai Hospital to take venous
Chow said that he would leave GWF for Xiangyu. It is his
roommate who is from Wuping, Longyan that invited him to join it. I felt that he
had his own plan. Recently I observed Chow clearly, and I found no joy on his
face. I couldn’t judge from that: what was he thinking?
He used to be drunk once I was drunk. Since then I knew
that he was a little fond of wine. It is true that drinking too much wine do
harm to one’s health. However, wine could make something different. Wine is
magic, sometimes. It could make one relaxed, especially to those who has always
been enduring great pressure. Being drunk might make one truer, although
being truer, more sincere is not a good thing.
On politics, Chow has quite different point of view from
me. He still believed in the party, he thought that democracy would sooner
or later come true. I could assume that he believe in democracy, although I
began to doubt the value of democracy. Even though I thought that democracy
is people’s important right. Under one party, how could democracy come
There is no doubt that it is only me that who is not the
Party Member. I doubted the value of the party when I was in junior high. I
found a lot of flaw in Communism taught by our politics teacher. I asked him my
questions but I got no satisfactory answer. I finally got to know that all the
books of politics are for the use of cheating. We have been cheated since we
were children. And I have to doubt everything taught by the teacher. Is there
anything that you can believe in?No. I can believe that few of the communist
party member truly believed in Communism, although it is written in the party
constitution that all members should believe in communism. Liar, liar, we
Chinese are used to telling lies so that even liar ownself couldn’t recognize
that they are cheating. I was really shocked when somebody told me
that being a member of the party is an honor. In my point of view, to be a party
member is just a way of securing personal gain. Although I admit that it is
one’s right to chase his own happiness, his personal interest. I still couldn’t
regard it as an honor. Maybe in the eyes of somebody who is extreme, such
behavior should be regarded as a shame. Those who did not follow their own heart
lives only on the surface. It is only I don’t think to be a party member
would do me any good that I am not going to join the organization. If I think
that joining the party will do me good I will join it without any hesitation. I
am realist who had no belief.
Chow said that the politics atmosphere had become looser
ever since. It is true that due to the internet, people now had broader horizon.
Concealing the truth to the people is becoming harder and harder. Thanks to the
invention of internet, thanks to US army who invented it. Without it, most
people even including me would believe that we are living in the happiest time
and happiest country in the world. Chow said that the dominators owned the
ability to control the internet, just as the North Korea did. Haven’t the
dominators done anything to control the internet?Sure they have. Notorious great
fire wall! It makes China net become the greatest local area network. The
people are forgetful.
I can believe that the country is making progress. But I
don’t know the extent of progress. Violence is not good for a society. The only
way to improve a society should be peaceful reform. but could we look forward to
the dominators’ bestow?Violence fight should be proved useless. What about
nonviolent fight?Whenever, people should own the right to criticize the
government; whenever, government should be limitted to its own little area;
whenever, there should be another power to make a balance. I believe not in
democracy. It could be true that people always make wrong decision since people
lack the wisdom to make a correct judgement. Republic has higher value than
democracy. So that’s my belief: balance. No one could be trusted. The obstacle
is that could there be anyone like Jingguo Chiang showed up in the ccp’s


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